The Clingy, the Needy and the Normal💛💫

What should you do if you're the clingy type of human being?
Step 1: Die.
Of embarrassment, i mean. Don't commit suicide or anything like that. I'm just saying that being a clingy person is a very embarrassing thing. I would know, because I'm a clingy human being too and I'm embarrassed by it.
Which leads me to step 2: You are not alone. If clinginess is really as terrible as they say it is, then i pray you find comfort in the fact that I'm in it with you. We'll sit in the pit of semi-neediness together yeah?

But let me be honest with you readers, i strongly feel that clinginess is more of an imaginary social construct than it is an actual problem. In my most humble opinion, being clingy to me translates to giving someone your affection when they don't want it. I imagine that we can be in love and give each other affection, but the moment one of us stops being in love the one who is still giving and requiring the same affection becomes "needy" and/or "clingy". I would love to suggest that clingininess is just a label you get when you show people love and they don't want it but i won't because I'm really not an expert in these matters. I do know however, that as a recovering-clingy-person no matter how simple the solution seems (stop giving the wrong people love, that's the solution) it's very hard to implement.

Simply because letting go of a human being is one of the hardest things to do in this life. As i write this i realise that i have zero experiences in the romantic relationships department but i understand what it's like to feel alone and then have somebody show you love and affection when you least expect it. I understand that sometimes human affection becomes a drug and once somebody gives it to you you want more and more of it. So much more that you're willing to break rules, lie and maybe even commit a crime just to keep that love coming.

The thing about clinginess is you get used to the affection, and are unable to understand that it's no longer there. You just keep giving love and showing affection in the hopes that you'll get it back but you don't. And so you just keep giving and expecting and thus you get the label "needy" which is in my opionion, a more extreme form of clinginess. I did say that it's an imaginary social construct didn't i? I would like to expand on that if i may.

The word "needy" is a word that describes the poor people to put it bluntly. The euphemism for that is "less fortunate" and I'll use that instead. Not for it's softness, but rather, for it's accuracy. How apt is it that those who don't get the love they deserve or want are "less fortunate" than those who do? In my most humble opinion we are all in need of love and affection. The idea that some people are being too needy or clingy was put across by those who don't want the responsibility of showing this affection ( which is within their rights, i understand). This concept is imaginary because it only applies when you are with people who don't want you to " cling" onto them or show them affection. When you are with your tribe or people you will not be needy or clingy because you will get back all the love you deserve. Trust me, I'm a clingy person who has found her people.

Now that I've defended #TeamClingy, I'd like to speak on behalf of #TeamNormal, if it even exists that is. People who are in #TeamClingy are annoying because they become demanding and it's exhausting. You constantly want to be affirmed, acknowledged and dare i say it, hugged all the time !!(i recently discovered that i hugs are my poison btw) It's okay every once in a while but once it makes you crazy( like me) and possessive then you need to see a therapist because you have some deep-seated parent-issues somewhere inside of you. I'm not even joking. Clingy/needy people are hard to work with because they are always making everybody else unhappy just because they are not happy with themselves.

Another thing about clinginess is that it makes you crazy. Ever heard of the crazy girlfriend? That would be me if i wasn't saved, honestly! Story time: So there is a certain human being i know who is not my friend. Matter of fact, i found this person to be quite annoying and arrogant at first until they came to one of my favourite spaces and i got to know them a little bit (read: very tiny bit) better. We are both interested in a particular activity and me being a novice at it, i thought i could learn a few tricks so we interacted a bit(Again, read: very very little bit) and that was it. There was no special friendship here but one day i saw this said human and they were not very friendly to me.

Now, a normal person would just think, "Annoying-person doesn't like me" and continue with life. I, however, concocted a crazy story about how the human being in question was afraid to show love and be vulnerable so we can show them love and so on and so forth. I don't remember clearly but i think i may have quoted Jesus somewhere there and i am so embarrassed because two days later i realised that i was just hurt because this person hadn't gushed over me or made me feel special and stuff. It was very hard to accept that this person is not moved by my presence even though we knew each other and might have been on the path to friendship. The loss of affection drove me crazy and it took a while for me to understand that it was over. I'm proud to announce that I no longer feel the need to fall over my feet just to impress them so they come back. Congratulate me please!😊There is hope !

Dear normal reader, please go easy on us clingy people. We're going through a hard time and with just the right amount of love and affection, we'll be right as rain.

And to you, the clingy reader, cling on to yourself and you'll be fine. Understand that it's okay for people to move out of your love-jurisdiction and you don't have to chase them down. Love them if they want, leave them if they don't.

To everybody else,
It's been about a minute, I'm sorry and i hope this extra-long post makes up for my unfaithfulness.

Love💛, Apreciation💫 and Light🌻.

P.s: I can't get over this love-letter format! Please tell me what you think about it in the comments section.