Life,Actually

Dear friend "does your breath work. i know there is air entering. and leaving you.  leaving you but are you breathing. are you alive. is it working" -Nayyirah Waheed There are parts of my life i cannot properly recall. I know what happened but i cannot remember how i felt during that time as if the things that happened were not happening to me. There is a feeling of disconnect or detachment in these memories that make me think that maybe i wasn't really living at that time, as ridiculous as it sounds. There was a time in my life when i was only breathing in oxygen, but not really alive. I have memories of a time when i felt nothing, when the pain was so unbearable i had to switch off the feeling parts of my brain and just be. In order to survive and make it through i had to stop feeling, hence why i can only remember blank, empty numbness. I had to pretend i was fine, that i was fighting and working when in reality, i was just sitting in this pit of...

You will come into this world with zeal kicking and screaming at the nurses Your eyes closed and non-negotiating Your hands balled into an angry fist Your face red as the bloody sun and the world will placate you. Your mother's milk will sedate you and your passion will turn into quiet whimpering meekness. Like a dog to it's master you will smile as they pet and groom you. This is the first way you die...... You'll grow into the world with wide-eyed wonder Exploring, questioning, learning Failing, falling and feeling Your mind will build castles where there are ruins Your eyes will see beauty where there are scars And you will see royalty each time you look into a mirror Until, until you are forced to wake up from this dream. To stop questioning, marveling and feeling. You will blink once and the castles will crumble You will blink again and the scars will glare at you in ugliness And your crown will disappear the next time you look in t...

"The crowd fades away Leaving only you and i in the room Guided by Vusinova's Ndizakulinda We slow-dance across the room Forgeting everything Including the steps we practiced so much. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Our feet are not dancing here, my love. It is my heart and yours. Celebrating the moment we waited so long for." -S.C.Netha❤ At the risk of being judged by the "woke" youth who are too busy (or broke, lol) for love i would like to make a confession. The above moment is what i look forward to the most in life. I don't know how many times i have imagined it, in fact, i have decided that i would forgo the wedding cake just for the slow dance. And i can't even dance! I'm sure you are wondering why a whole feminist, non-conformist and liberated woman would want a wedding dance to be the greatest moment of her life. Why not my graduation, first car or property? Why does a feminist want to get married anyway...

We are brought onto this planet for a number of reasons, and most of these reasons have faces, bodies, names and personalities. These reasons run the race that is life just a few lanes away from us, parallel to us and maybe ahead of us but with the sole mission of living life to the fullest. These reasons are people, or our people as I'd like to say. We have the option to take two steps closer to our reasons. Here we will enjoy friendship hugs, appropriate jokes and intelligent conversations. Or we can take four steps closer to our reasons, and enjoy tight hugs, fistbumps, mean jokes, sarcasm, inside jokes and intelligent banter. We can also enjoy platonic intimacy without the romantic strings attached. Our i love you's we'll be followed by "i know" s and our aim will be to make each other happy. I always choose this one. Or we can take as many steps as we need to get so close to our reasons they'll barely be any breathing space between us. This is wher...